


Rejection

by DoomedKelpie



Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [7]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Arguments, Backstory, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Kid Sides (Sanders Sides), Kinda, Minor Violence, Past Events, Remus being Remus, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unsympathetic Light Sides (Sanders Sides), Yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28220379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: The split between Light and Dark started when Janus was forced away.
Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002450
Kudos: 69





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the next part of this fic series!
> 
> Important Note: I changed a few sentences in ‘Aftermath’ so it fits the events described here, so if you read that one and realize that this doesn’t match up with what I wrote there, that’s why. I wrote ‘Aftermath’ before I had the idea for this part of the series. It’s changed now, though, so it matches. You probably don’t have to re-read it, though, since I didn’t change very much, and the events are described in more detail here anyway.
> 
> This one is technically a flashback? It’s more like reminiscing about the past, but at a point before Trick or Treat even happened. (So, timeline-wise, this chapter takes place before the first part of the series, but the actual chapter content takes place even farther in the past)
> 
> Also, I’m honestly not paying too much mind to exactly what is developmentally appropriate in terms of language skills and stuff. I’m not gonna sit here trying to figure out exactly how children are supposed to talk ‘cuz it depends on a lot of stuff. So, they’re just going to talk a bit more childlike, and I tried my best.

It had started around the time that Thomas was eight. Or maybe nine. Seven? It was hard for him to pinpoint when exactly the others started to hate him. Once, they had all been friends- Self, Heart, Thoughts, and Creativity. But that was before Self- representing Thomas’s desires, his self-preservation, and his self-interest- started shifting into Deceit- deception, lies, and immorality. It was before Heart became Morality, before Thoughts became Logic, and before Thomas’s sense of right and wrong was particularly concrete. Of course, it wasn’t like Thomas had no sense of morals before that point, but as a young child, he couldn’t exactly be expected to have a very strong moral sense outside of what his parents imposed upon him. 

But eventually, that changed.

As Thomas grew older, he started believing in the morals his parents and other adults taught him as more than just things he should listen to because adults told him to. He started understanding  _ why _ he should listen to them. And that was great, Thomas was on track to grow into a  _ good person _ \- but it  _ wasn’t _ great because one of those morals Thomas learned was ‘lying is wrong.’

At first, that realization didn’t affect his relationship with the other sides as much. It was fine until slowly,  _ slowly _ , Self and Heart started to disagree on how Thomas should act. Heart would argue for what was the  _ right thing to do _ , while Self would argue for what was  _ the right thing for Thomas _ . And sometimes, that meant lying, mostly lying to get out of trouble. 

But ironically, it ended up causing a  _ lot _ of trouble.

Before, lying was just a way to act in Thomas’s self-interest, a way to try to get him what he wanted. Him and the other sides didn’t really think it was bad. But once Heart became Morality, and Morality started believing that lying was always a  _ bad _ thing, Self started to shift as well. Self started to become  _ Deceit _ , even though he was still more than that. He still wasn’t exactly sure why his personality and function became so dependent on what likely wasn’t even his most essential aspect, but it happened. He suspected that it may very well have been because of the fighting, though. Maybe, as Deceit fought with Morality, that further cemented the idea that lying was wrong and simultaneously cemented him as the villain, and the two became synonymous with each other. Or maybe he was just so good at lying that he could lie to himself about being anything but a conglomeration of lies.

Regardless of why he became Deceit, however, he did. And as he did so, he slowly,  _ slowly _ started filling this new role until it fit like a glove.

Until it all fell apart.

“See! I  _ told _ you lying is bad!’ Morality shouted, his voice high. “Now Thomas is in trouble, and his mother is mad at him! We should have just told the truth!”

“Thomas wouldn’t have gotten in trouble if you didn’t make him feel guilty and have him tell the truth to his mom!” Deceit argued back. “She wouldn’t have known if you didn’t do that!”

“But Thomas  _ should _ feel bad!” Morality shot back. “He did something wrong, and then he  _ lied _ about it!”

“So what?!”

It was the same argument they had that was becoming more and more frequent. It wasn’t like Deceit wanted Thomas to be a bad person- he just wanted Thomas to be happy. And he didn’t get what the big deal was if Thomas took an extra cookie. It was only one cookie, and there were plenty more! It wasn’t even like someone else would go without because he took it. Who did it hurt? What was so  _ bad _ about getting an extra cookie? The others used to be  _ happy _ when Deceit helped Thomas get things like that. Why should Thomas feel bad and get in trouble over something that wasn’t a big deal, something that didn’t even  _ hurt _ anyone?

“So what?!” Morality exclaimed in disbelief. “Thomas can’t just take whatever he wants! Now he’s going to become a criminal and go to jail forever!”

Deceit knew that Morality was exaggerating. No one went to jail because they took an extra cookie. Thomas’s mom wouldn’t call the cops on him for something like that. But Morality was crying and screaming, and Deceit had no one on his side to back him up.

“Why do you always make Thomas do bad things?!” Morality questioned. “Why did you become  _ bad _ ?!”

And that comment was what drove Deceit over the edge to anger.

“ _ I’m _ bad?!” Deceit shouted. “All  _ you _ do is make Thomas feel bad about himself!”

He stepped closer to Morality, getting close to his face, though not quite touching him.

“Why do  _ you _ always get to decide what Thomas does?! Who put  _ you _ in charge?!”

Deceit didn’t notice just how loud he was yelling or how much he was encroaching on Morality’s personal space, but he was upset and holding back tears. In the moment, he just felt this blood rushing in his ears and tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. 

And then Morality fell back, losing his balance when he tried to step away from Deceit. 

And then Deceit felt someone roughly grab his shoulder and shove him away, making him fall to the ground as well. Surprised by the fall, it took Deceit a moment to realize it was Creativity who was standing over him with a glare. 

“What’s your problem, Deceit?!” Creativity yelled. “First you get Thomas in trouble, and now you hurt Morality?!”

Deceit wanted to correct him, say that he hadn’t actually  _ done _ anything to Morality, hadn’t even meant for him to lose balance, but he found a sword pointing at his face, the blade only an inch in front of his nose. 

“We’re all sick and tired of you doing this stuff!” he continued. “We’re sick and tired of  _ you _ \- you- you- you  _ villain _ !”

That hurt. Creativity might as well have already hit him with his sword, because the pain was already making tears start to roll down his cheeks. 

And then Creativity really  _ did _ use his sword, using the flat side to hit his feet.

“Just  _ leave _ already! Get out of here!  _ Away _ from us!” the other side continued. “We don’t want you here anymore!”

It took Deceit a few tries before he could stand back up. He was scared now, and his legs were shaking. Apparently, he took too long, because Creativity swiped his sword in a wide arc in front of him, only just barely avoiding touching him with its sharp edge.

And then Deceit was running, running back to his room and away from the others. 

He would spend a few days in his room alone, crying, before he so much as opened his door. It would be even longer- a  _ lot _ longer- before he would go anywhere near the other sides again. 

And when he did, he found that his new role- the villain- would suit him just fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head’s up: I recently edited part of ‘Aftermath’ so it fits with this chapter. It wasn’t a big edit though.
> 
> Also, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.

Deceit stole his trusted friend Snakey from the Imagination a few days after he started leaving his room again. It wasn’t difficult. Back then, the imagination wasn’t very contained, and the mind palace was a lot less of a house with defined walls and more of a shifting gradient back then. He was able to sneak in easily without Creativity or the others ever noticing. 

He was glad to have someone to talk to, but if he was honest (ha), he missed having someone who would answer instead of just staring at him all the time. Of course, he loved Snakey, appreciated not being alone, but he still  _ felt _ alone a lot of the time. Snakey could only do so much to fill the hole that Creativity’s sword had cut into his heart, the hole that had already been starting to rip open. 

He came across Dark Creativity when Thomas was around twelve. 

And the thing was, Deceit had never been able to hate Remus,  _ resent _ Remus, even though he quickly found out that Remus was half of the Creativity that banished him. Maybe it was because Remus was rejected, too. Or maybe he was just really  _ that _ lonely.

“Hello!” the side had greeted him when Deceit found him loitering around his room. “I’m Dark Creativity, but you can call me Remus!”

Deceit had been surprised to see anyone, especially a new side. And that surprise made it take a moment for him to realize that the side in front of him was  _ Creativity _ .

“What’s your name?”

The other side, Remus was looking at him with a wide, exaggerated grin. Deceit glared back.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Me?” the boy questioned, tilting his head. “Ah, my brother and the others kicked me out. Apparently, they didn’t like my idea for fire piranhas.”

“Brother?”

“Yeah, Roman!” Remus replied. “He’s  _ such _ a stick in the mud!”

Deceit paused before asking his next question, but asked it nonetheless.

“... But if you’re Creativity, what happened to…”

“Oh, I’m  _ Dark _ Creativity!” he explained. “Me and Roman split! Like someone who got shoved in a knife fan!”

Deceit had an idea of why Remus had been sent away.

“So, what’s  _ your _ name, then?”

It was a long time before Deceit truly understood what Remus meant by saying that Creativity split, but at that moment, he decided to accept the other side in front of him. Remus had been rejected, just like he was, so maybe they could be rejected together.

“... Deceit.”

He and Remus hadn’t exactly started getting along too well for a while, though. Remus was difficult and sometimes scary, and apparently Deceit was too grouchy. But eventually, the two of them reached an understanding and got closer and closer. Still, even though it was a tough path to get there, Deceit preferred that over what he had with the others. Even when they didn’t get along, Remus would listen to him, and he wouldn’t accuse Deceit of being bad or call him a villain. And Deceit didn’t do that to Remus, either, even as his ideas gradually became more morbid as Thomas grew older and started learning more about the darker parts of the world.

The two of them found Virgil sometime after Thomas had turned fourteen. 

He had been crying in a dark corner of the mindscape, and at first, the sound reminded Deceit so much of Morality that he nearly left, thinking it could be him. But after a second of looking, he knew that this side couldn’t  _ possibly _ be Morality. No, sweet,  _ perfect _ , little Morality would  _ never _ dress like that. 

And so, Deceit and Remus went over to him and knelt down, making the crying side flinch and look up at them. 

“Hello,” Deceit greeted neutrally.

“Yeah, hi!” Remus added. “What’s up with the waterworks, buttercup? Did someone stab you with a  _ really _ big knife?”

The new side started rubbing the tears out of his eyes.

“N-no…”

Deceit felt a hard stone in his stomach as he took a guess about why this side could be crying, especially once he saw that Remus’s comment wasn’t merely a random morbid thought. Memories of his own tears floating through his skull as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Did Creativity cut you with his sword?”

And that just made the side’s crying renew itself with vigor.

“I-I… Th-They were so n-nice at first, and-and I thought…,” he sobbed. “But then-then they s-said I was being s-sc-scary and m-mean and that I was h-hurting Thom-Thomas! And-and then he c-cut me with his s-sword, and…”

He cut himself off with unintelligible cries for a minute before Deceit next understood what he was saying. And those words were  _ most definitely _ something he understood.

“I-I just! I just wanted t-to keep Thomas s-safe!”

And Deceit knew then and there that he would protect this side from the others. He hadn’t felt this immediate need to protect with Remus- though he would have protected him if the need arose, Remus was more likely to be the thing someone needed protecting  _ from _ \- but as he watched this side crying, crying tears so similar to his own, he couldn’t help but let his old protective aspects surge to the surface.

“Hey, it’s okay…”

At the time, Virgil hadn’t known that Deceit’s words weren’t completely true. He hadn’t known that, by then, Deceit had started to mostly speak in lies and that he really didn’t think anything about the situation was okay. But regardless, Deceit’s soothing words eventually calmed him down. And eventually, he introduced himself.

“... I… I’m Anxiety.”

And Deceit knew then that the three of them would always stick together, as the ones the others rejected.


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this chapter takes place sometime following ‘Aftermath’, but the events being described are, once again, from the past.

Looking back, Roman felt bad about what had happened with Deceit when they were children, though he, ironically, wouldn’t admit it to himself for a long time. The truth was that, even then, he and Remus had already started to split, and Roman, then part of Romulus, had been desperate to prove that he was still the hero. He hated those dark, scary thoughts that came from Remus, and he hated that those thoughts were a part of him. 

And that day, when he saw what looked like Deceit hurting Patton, he’d found an opportunity to prove that he was the hero. Heroes saved people who were in trouble, right? So, Romulus stormed over and pulled Deceit away from Patton, who was cowering on the floor, and he threatened Deceit until he ran off. 

He still wasn’t entirely sure how much he meant what he said. Had he really wanted Deceit to go away forever? Or was he just mad? But regardless of whether he really meant it or not, Deceit didn’t come back, and that just gave him time to convince himself that driving him off was the right thing to do, that hating the villain was the right thing to do. 

For a while, it seemed like things would be okay. He had proved he was good. 

But then Thomas started growing up, and with growing up came scary movies and middle-school-whispers and a general increasing awareness that the world wasn’t really all sunshine and unicorns and glitter. And as Thomas started to learn new things, darker things, his ideas began to grow darker. And Romulus wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Until the split. 

Roman, admittedly, didn’t remember everything from before the split, especially earlier things from when Romulus was more integrated, but he did remember what happened with Deceit, at least. 

It hadn’t taken him very long to force his brother away as well. He’d tried for a few days, or, put on the act that he was really trying, but Roman was, truthfully, glad to be finally rid of the thoughts he hated, and he didn’t want to face those thoughts in the form of his brother.

But Remus was Remus, and as such, it wasn’t difficult to convince the others that he had to be driven away. Patton was terrified of him, and Logan thought he was annoying. It was, however, difficult to actually get rid of Remus. He wasn’t scared off by Roman’s intimidation, or even by a wound from his sword. Instead, it just egged him on and made him start acting even more like the villain Roman was convinced he was. 

In the end, he’d had to start making the separations in the mindscape more distinct, and once there was more of a wall between them and the place they knew Deceit had retreated to, he’d simply pushed Remus over to the other side. 

Remus had tried to get back over, but couldn’t quite figure it out, and Roman was pretty sure that he’d thought it was part of a game for a while. But it wasn’t.

Roman still didn’t really feel bad about what happened with Remus. His brother downright terrified him sometimes, to the point where he’d feared for his and the others’ lives, both during those first few days and after Remus eventually figured out how to navigate the mindscape a little better. 

He did feel bad about what happened with Virgil, though. Roman hadn’t actually meant to really cut him with his sword. He’d just meant to scare him off with it and had miscalculated. At first, that was the only thing he felt bad about concerning the anxious side. It wasn’t until Thomas started making the videos and they had to go to Virgil’s room that he really started to feel bad about driving Virgil away at all. After ‘Accepting Anxiety’, he realized how important the other side was to Thomas’s functioning, and eventually, they’d started to become friends. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been for thinking he was the same as villains like Deceit and his brother. 

He hadn’t expected his feelings about _them_ to eventually start shifting, either. 


End file.
